on working out

I hate running. 

I love yoga. 

I despise cardio, glute and inner-thigh workouts 

I enjoy swimming, hiking and bike riding. 

For the most part, I enjoy working out.  I have accepted that it's something that should always be incorporated in my life. Not just for weight loss but as a healthy lifestyle and overall self. 

One major problem, I am highly unmotivated if I'm not part of a gym, class or friend group activity.  

Solution: Get over it. 

After being sick for what felt like a lifetime and battling the winter chill, I have to find other ways to get my exercise on. I really wanted a great yoga video. But my resources are a bit limited being in South Africa. So I splurged on an itunes purchase. 

I came up with this. 

A.) Purchase Yoga Mat B.) Purchase workout dvd 

1. Jillian Michael's Yoga Meltdown

it's okay. not my favorite but certainly enough to get the job done. 

then this came about. 

2. Jillian Michael's 6 week 6-pack abs

I did level one today without weights and I was dying. 

Which is promising but also really sad to see how out of shape I've gotten. 

I'm kicking myself for not doing this sooner, especially with Jayde and I's adventure next week. Ponto do Ouro. 

The Ocean has been calling my name. 

natural remedies, not so naturual remedies

feeling blue

Feel a little bit blue at the moment. My body hates me at the moment. All in a day, I got an eye infection, stomach cramps and what I think is a common cold. We're on day two at the moment. I intend to do absolutely nothing today. Minus the cookies I have to bake for Kayla's shop keeper day tomorrow. Seriously the easiest most simplest, yummy cookies ever. Crinkle Cookies. 

But after that, fingers crossed, locked in my room watching movies. 

What's your go to comfort for feeling blue?

Organizing: mind, spirit and life.

Do you ever have the problem to where you have one thing churning in your mind?  

You want to release it but lack of energy, motivation, or even tools seems to win. Then in conjunction, corresponds with the rest of your ideas, existence, or being. That this one thing manages to manifest into the simple, less thought-provoking things and that fixation that you still haven’t done the one thing you were wanting to do in the first place hasn't been done. Yet somehow,it effects the day-to-day and everything else manages to be placed on the back burner.

That’s how I feel with most aspects in life. Not just metaphorically but the physical, the spiritual, and the emotional.

I decided to put the one big thing that’s been churning at me, the one thing that I want to get out and explain, I decided to take the pressure away and start working on the little things.

Besides, isn’t it the little, small things that begin to add up? It’s the small things that become overlooked until we’re drowning in small issues and tasks that just originally needed to be pruned and maintained a bit. But they add up, and then restoration has to happen. Often times stripping the entire piece just to get to the core of what it is and start over.

Wow, I wasn’t intending to pour all this out.

I wanted to take the time to show you some of the details in my room in South Africa. Nothing fancy, just a couple visuals. 

please note the crooked lamp. it just doesn't want to stay straight. 

some random crafting + painting. had some bad dreams one night and decided to paint a dream catcher. 

postcard from time spent with my friend ashley in boston + a note for Jayde's wallet

tink the cat + perfect window lighting 

The Elephant in the Room

The elephant in the room. Literally. Figuratively. Oops, maybe I gave too much away.

For a while now, I’ve felt like there was an elephant in the room. I shove it under my bed every so often, sometimes in the closet, never near a mirror. Mirrors reveal too much. And I’m not speaking of only myself. Everything is shown in a reflection, everything. Sometimes distorted depending on which way it’s looked at. 

I think that’s why I haven’t written with as much substance for a while now—give or take a few posts.

Trust is a really big issue for me. I don’t trust a lot of people. I’m an open book about most things unless I haven’t figured something out in my life. I’m rather reserved until I’m mad, then I’m an untamed animal. This only happens once every blue moon. Unless you’re my boyfriend, then you experience this more frequently. (If you’re reading this, I’m sorry.) On top of me not trusting often. I’m also overly hyper-aware of people and how ones actions could affect their life. So, I find myself constantly wracking me brain trying to do the right things, say the right things, keep my cool but mainly try to take care of others before myself. I think I learn that last trait from my mother. But I find that not everyone shares those same traits. Which confuses me. And hurts me.

There it is. The elephant in the room.

Hurt. I feel hurt. betrayed. And more than a little sad.

I’ve had friendship breakups before. They are always messy. Especially the ones that so much trust is invested. Maybe too much. Most likely.  Friends often times tell me how guarded I am.  So, I give more. I trust more. More times than not, in my opinion, I get the short end of the stick. It is just a reality.

But what hurts the most is when you’ve placed these people as lifers. They aren’t just the day-to-day, out of convenience because there is no one else. (Although, maybe this was their thought.) They are the ones that you picture in your wedding, standing next to you because your trust them with sharing this happiness with you and witness these intense life moments. And in the blink of an eye, that future memory fades and morphs into another future memory without. 

I think that adds to the hurt.

I speak fond memories of you. Often too.

They make me sad.

Maybe it’s the reason I don’t like elephants in the room so much anymore.

I changed to giraffes. 

re-cap: twenty-five

My thought process for the day.  

Airplane epiphanies

Something about airplanes. 

They always get me thinking. I'm sure it's because I feel trapped in them and have no control over my life at that point.i also think flying is a foreign concept. I wasn't made with wings. Therefore how am I in midair.i tend to pray a lot on planes and ponder god more frequently that I normally would when not flying. I think that has to do with vastness. I look out the window and I see the ground below and the sky above me. Nothing new under the sun. But in this case it's a different perspective.

Everything on land is so small compared to what is above me. On ground everything looks like giants and far bigger than it really is. But once I take myself from that life, it looks different and a lot less big and scary.

Then I start pondering the vastness of the creator.thinking why me, why was I created. Why any this? Then I start thinking about the sunrise. Dawn is a new day, new Beginnings and a color palette of beauty. I think we could learn something if we experienced more dawns.

Coming from the mouth of a girl who hates mornings. I hit snooze a million times because I can't get out of bed. Then I finally end up rolling out of bed and run out the door.
But dawn. It Is a calming concept. no, it is a calming reality. It's slow but well worth the outcome. A perfect example that our beginnings matter just as much as our endings. The beginning is where we begin to understand waiting.

Acts 2

“‘I saw the Lord always before me.
    Because he is at my right hand,
    I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
    my body also will rest in hope,
because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
    you will not let your holy one see decay.
You have made known to me the paths of life;
    you will fill me with joy in your presence.’^[e]

///please excuse if it doesn't make sense, it was about 6am when I wrote this